Insomnia

Today something has happened to me, that I spent a long time to wake up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep without knowing why, but in me is the reason.
I know I am far from perfect, but I also know that I'm not a bad person, I do my shit and I have my mistakes like everyone else, but never do anything with bad intentions, I know I'm wrong I admit Cueno and I apologize, that there are many things oeqieñas annoying me and many others that hurt me, but the streets because that nonsense, most details that sucks an egg.
I'm not expecting anything from life, because I learned that life is never what you expect, not expect anything from people, because nobody ever what it seems, because people are more unpredictable than my life, to cause it hurts most you disappoint a person he trusted that the fact that life does not meet your desires.
Desires, something we all have, some give them to know, gold's silent, and others who do not even know ourselves reflected in our feelings and actions, by jealousy, fear, fears, lies, omissions, and a thousand more things unconsciously do, and we see it is too late.
I have no desire too flashy, I do not want a house in Miami, I do not want an Aston Martin, I want to be close to my sister, I wish the day I have a boyfriend, when fight trust me and tell me, I wish I could be closer of my friends, I wish I could spend more time with them, I know many people who are far away, I wish I could get along with my parents, I wish I could sit and watch a game with my dad, I wish I could accompany my mom when she's shopping I want to receive, get a job and become independent of my parents, I do not ask for much.
But there are two things I do not know if one day attained. The first is to know myself, I know so much yet so little, do not understand why I have answers and tips for everyone, but never for me. The other is to understand why, I always end badly in a relationship, not if ever I fall the wrong person, or I who is wrong. I know I often wrong, but I have never done something so great that love can not people ever mistake me twice in the same way, but neither received a second chance to prove that I learn from my mistakes.
I think the hardest things to achieve, are the internal, because feelings do not depend only on us, but also of the rest, after a fight you can think "and this, already, and your mind clears and you thinkotherwise, but in your heart the things stay the same.
Be too much to ask to get up one day and say "I am happy" without leaving a thousand things out? Be too much to ask to sleep and not sleep thinking about how to solve a problem?
Some say I'm very melodramatic, others say I'm emo, I really do not care what they say, because if I do not care about my own feelings, I care less of others, and would live by no matter what I would like nothing one, making it a total egotist.
It's a little hard to explain what happens to me, and trying to do may seem like I'm going around the bush, but uniting all in one place, everything fits.
The point I am, I'm bad for a relationship that not even started, I can not ignore my feelings and I get depressed every time but, I can not find a solution, nor get a chance to prove that not make the same mistake twice.
At this time, I yield, I have no more desire to fight, and I do not want to row, I just want to put up with it, overcome it, and leave behind, I have to go on with my life, I have to move, I have dreams, goals to achieve One of them is smiling, and for that, I have to move forward.

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